Life is hard and we store much of our old pain in our bodies and homes. Pain makes life messy and that is okay. This mess is okay.
You were hurting and deserved a space where you could be held, where your hurt could be stored until you had the tools and support to properly heal.
You deserved the sweetness of every piece of cake you ever ate, the numbness of every alcoholic beverage you ever drank, and the escape of every hour you ever spent playing games, watching television, reading books, overworking, shopping, or investing in relationships that did not serve you.
You wanted comfort.
You needed to feel better.
You did what you had to do to cope.
You made a mess and this mess is okay.
You deserved to stuff this “stuff” into every nook and cranny if that's what it took to make you feel even a little bit better or safer or ready for whatever crisis your past told you was destined to happen again.
You deserved to do whatever it took to get through just one more day with those old heartbreaks running laps inside you.
You did what you needed to do but now, you are beginning to want something different.
You've grown. You've changed.
And now your life is changing too.
Remember this: You don’t have to be proud of this old mess to be proud you cleaned it up. You don’t have to be happy that you were in that toxic relationship to be happy it is over. You don't have to be excited you had fallen so far behind to be excited you are finally getting shit done.
You started to take back your life and there is still a lot left to do. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by what remains but you get to be excited that you are healing your head, heart, and home. Be proud of what you already accomplished. You are turning this around. It doesn’t matter how slowly; it matters that you are doing it.
Feel this joy creeping in. Feel this life returning. Feel the lightness that you are cultivating with your own two hands. It doesn’t matter how long it took to get here or what all of that coping cost you. Honor this healing. Give yourself permission to celebrate what you are doing here.
You are changing what you can change when you can change it. That is enough. You are enough. Yes, I’m sure.
If you need support, I am here.